Men’s 2s Match reports

Anchorians 2s took to the pitch on Saturday afternoon for what was scheduled to be a hockey match but quickly turned into a test of everyone’s ability to play sport inside a cloud. The fog was so thick that at times players were relaying on Ethan's roars rather than seeing the ball.

Despite the conditions, the game started brightly. Anchorians looked the sharper side early on, with Sam and Good Ben covering enormous ground, seemingly determined to run enough kilometres to keep themselves warm.

Unfortunately the breakthrough came for Gravesham from a short corner. In a bold piece of defensive strategy, Pricey decided that the goaline needed closer inspection rather than the player he was supposed to be marking. Gravesham gratefully accepted the generous marking and slotted home to take a 1–0 lead.

Anchorians were soon forced into changes when both Pricey and Robbie decided their lower limbs – and possibly the weather – had had enough for the day and retired themselves to the bench injured. The exact medical diagnosis remains unclear, although “too foggy” is believed to be under consideration.

At the other end, Daz was in excellent form in goal, pulling off some fine saves to keep Anchorians in the game. How he managed to see the ball through the fog is still something of a mystery.

The equaliser eventually arrived thanks to a moment of quality. Neil launched a pinpoint aerial forward and Captain Bad Ben showed a hero’s touch, delicately guiding the ball home to level the score. A captain’s contribution when it mattered most.

Anchorians looked the better team for much of the second half and searched hard for a winner, but despite plenty of effort and pressure, the decisive goal refused to appear out of the fog.

A big thanks to Phil and Matt for umpiring in conditions where seeing anything at all was a considerable achievement.

4-2

The Men’s 2s hosted Ashford looking to rectify the mistakes made in the away fixture — and started brightly.

Chances came early, with the Ashford keeper forced into several saves and James Twigg rattling the crossbar with a lovely deflection. Despite the pressure, it was Ashford who struck first on the counterattack to take the lead.

Anchorians responded quickly. Great work from Ash Risby saw him thread a ball through to Twigg, who unselfishly squared it for me to slot home and make it 1–1.

The second half saw opportunities at both ends, but it was Anchs who edged ahead when Twigg found the net to make it 2–1.

Unfortunately, an unlikely defensive error allowed Ashford to counter once again and level things at 2–2.

The remainder of the half was defined by hard work and resilience across the pitch, with some excellent defensive efforts — particularly from Man of the Match Ben Pope, who was outstanding.

Anchs continued to press and eventually forced what can only be described as a goal that defies explanation. A ball played wide of goal somehow deflected off the line and into the net via Tom Wood. A finish so baffling that scientists may well be studying it for years to come.

Despite the late push, Ashford managed to equalise once more, meaning the points were shared.

Another draw — but now 10 games unbeaten. The aim is to make it 11 next week against the league leaders.

Thanks to Lacky and Phil for umpiring.

Anchs travelled to the perpetually rainy Dartford S&T College for a noon pushback.

We started… badly. From pushback, Toddler underhit a cross-field pass, gifting their striker a chance (thankfully only a short corner).

Midfield control improved, and after some sharp play, Gareth finished calmly to put us 1–0 up.

Discipline wobbled after a few “interesting” decisions. Ben and Hogger both saw yellow. Burnt Ash had a goal disallowed after informing the umpire it had hit their own player — credit to them.

Eventually they equalised from a rebound.

Second half saw further cards (Dai and Sam yellows, Toddler green for being different). Despite playing much of it with 10, we held structure well.

Key moments:

Tom Wood taking a tracer bullet to the groin and being out for the day (fines incoming)

Robbie’s brilliant counter ending in Twiggy’s ambitious but wide reverse effort

Pricey goal-line clearance (hamstring sacrificed in the process)

Final score 1–1.

Now 9 unbeaten (8 wins, 5 draws, 3 losses).

Man of the Match: Twiggy

Champagne: Gareth

Prize Prat: Toddler

The Men’s 2s looked confident ahead of their clash with a struggling Marden side, with a pre-match talk stressing the importance of three points — but no complacency.

Anchs started strongly. A huge aerial from Tom Banfield landed awkwardly on the P-spot, with the defender missing it completely. The ball fell kindly to Chris Risby, who took it onto his reverse and calmly slotted into the bottom-right corner.

A second followed soon after from a well-worked short corner, with Chris feeding Ash in the centre of the D to finish neatly. Happy days… or so we thought.

Despite excellent defending from Robbie Tarrent (yes, he’s back!), Garth, Sharps and Bernie, Marden struck back with a stunning reverse against the run of play.

Anchs responded late in the half. A goalmouth scramble led to Sam Heaney forcing a foot on the line, and Dave Hopkins duly converted into an empty net. Before the half ended, skipper Ben added a fourth, finishing well after an assist from Dave Hopkins to make it 4–1.

The second half followed a similar pattern, with Anchs dominating possession. A short-corner strike from Ash found Twiggy at the back post, who tapped in with the keeper stranded.

Marden pulled one back to make it 5–2, but Anchs continued to create chances. Fluid hockey from Mikey, Ethan and Tom Wood controlled the midfield, while a spectacular reaction save from Daz ensured the scoreline stayed intact.

MOTM: Tom Wood — like watching Maradona in midfield

Champ: Twiggy (eyes may have been closed)

DOTD: Chris Risby, for failing to square it four-on-one — much to his brother’s delight

A quality game against a respectful Marden side, aided by excellent umpiring from Lacky and Trevor. This result extends the Men’s 2s unbeaten run to eight games, leaving us 6th and just one point off third 🫣. The second half of the season is looking very tasty indeed.

Written by Pitcher, edited by Ben

Good evening all. I write to you on this beautiful winter’s night, pint of liquid bread and cottage pie in front of me, to recount today’s events.

Truth be told, the first half is a blur. There was a penalty flick after Neil Byrne sacrificed his foot to prevent a certain goal. The flick was missed thanks to immense pressure from me, but the umpire ordered a retake because I apparently moved my arms or something. The second attempt was converted.

The half was fairly uneventful otherwise — some decent movement, but Shep seemingly forgot to remove the springs from his stick, meaning most attacks fizzled out.

The second half was much improved. We conceded from a short corner after Drew ran out before the ball had even moved, and I failed to save it — but, you know, it happens. Despite a few decisions going against us, we kept battling and eventually equalised through a short corner, with Drew redeeming himself shortly after some exquisite link-up play — prime ribeye levels of quality (side note: Heat is an absolute banger of a film).

Twiggy got the final touch on a deflection — which he insists was entirely intentional. With the game tied, we found ourselves largely defending, but the youth ran their socks off to see the game out as a hard-fought draw.

MOTM: Me — returning to goal after two years, like riding a bike

Champagne: Twiggy, for scoring a deflection (apparently what attackers are meant to do)

Prize Prat: Also me

Anchorians 2s continued their good run of form with an impressive away win at Canterbury — made even more remarkable by skipper Ben Selby deciding to play centre back for the side in green… but more on that later.

Anchs started sluggishly with the early start, while Canterbury’s development side pressed aggressively and moved the ball well, at a noticeably higher level than earlier in the season.

The pressure told, and good movement left an unmarked player in the D to give Canterbury the lead.

Anchs then woke up, tightened up defensively and used possession better, earning a short corner that Ash Risby converted to make it 1–1 at half-time.

A few stern words from Ben, and a vein-popping rallying cry from Daz, saw Anchs start the second half much stronger. With improved marking and one player sitting on Canterbury’s standout attacker, we took control.

A lovely move starting with Sharps at left back, switching across the defence and up the right, ended with a neat one-two between Woody and Ash, who grabbed his second to put Anchs 2–1 up.

Anchs continued to dominate. So much so that after Ash skinned three defenders and smashed a shot goal-bound, skipper Ben kindly intervened with a world-class goal-line save (claimed as an attempted deflection) to keep it at 2–1.

Canterbury capitalised on this generosity, winning a short corner which they converted — despite Daz producing a stunning initial save on what “definitely” wasn’t too high.

Anchs responded well, winning more short corners, one of which Drew buried with a thunderous flick into the defender’s left post. Despite dominating the remainder of the game, we couldn’t add more goals, with Woody, Benjy and Twiggy guilty of profligacy or denied by excellent goalkeeping.

Thankfully, the game finished 3–2.

MOTM & Champ: Ash Risby

DOTD: New Canterbury signing… Ben Selby

Up to 5th place, just a few points off second. A huge game away at Maidstone next week.

Anchs 2s welcomed Cliftonville (second in the league) to Darland Avenue, hoping to carry pre-Christmas form into the new year and make amends for the 3–0 defeat earlier in the season.

Cliftonville started strongly, with a few robust early tackles — including your author Gareth being absolutely poleaxed after just two minutes (entirely accidental, apparently).

As both sides settled, some rustiness crept in with a few sloppy errors, though Anchs were probably edging it. Joel once again won a short corner, giving Anchs a chance at the first goal of 2026, but the opposition keeper made the first of many strong saves from Drew.

Unfortunately, the rust affected Anchs more than Cliftonville. A lapse in concentration midway through the half allowed an unmarked striker into the D, leaving Daz with little chance as Cliftonville took the lead.

The remainder of the half was fairly even, with plenty to build on after the break.

Following a strong team talk reminding us of our early-season strengths, Anchs came out attacking and looked much improved. We began winning multiple short corners, thanks to excellent work from the forward line of Woody, Mark, Tyler and Twiggy, who caused constant problems in the opposition 25.

Eventually, Anchs made one count. Gareth recovered a wayward injection at the top of the D and played it back to skipper Ben, who contorted his body in a way a professional gymnast would admire, scoring a superb equaliser off the post (which absolutely, definitely did not hit his knee).

Anchs dominated much of the rest of the game, with Hogger, Ethan and Joel controlling midfield and intercepting multiple 16s. The defence of Sharps, Bernie, Drew and Gareth remained largely untested.

Despite the pressure and several good chances, Anchs couldn’t find a winner, with the opposition keeper undoubtedly their standout performer. The game finished 1–1.

A great indicator of progress this season: from losing 3–0 in the opening fixture to feeling disappointed not to beat the side currently second in the league.

MOTM: Ethan

Champagne Moment: Ben’s finish

DOTD: Woody, for many things — chief among them stealing the ball thinking the opposition had taken a free hit.

Anchs sit 6th with a record of W6 D3 L3, showing real progression.

6-0

Anchs travelled away to Sevenoaks, hoping to pick up three points and marvel at the lovely West Kent scenery (you know you’re doing well when there’s a partridge in your front garden).

The game started with Sevenoaks applying heavy pressure. Our defence soaked it up — along with all the rain — with excellent defending from Tom Banfield, Neil Byrne and others at the back preventing any breakthrough.

We created chances through strong build-up play and good ball retention in midfield from Mikey, Ethan and Joel, with the game feeling evenly balanced.

Luck struck when a Sevenoaks defender stopped the ball on his foot in the D and assumed a short corner was coming. With great advantage played by the umpire, I picked up the ball and squared it across goal for David Hopkins to finish before half-time.

The second half is usually when Anchs wobble, but this time we came out stronger and dominated. Great running and effort from Tyler and Shep created chances, and eventually a short corner. Up stepped Drew, who fired a drag flick into the bottom corner — pleasing his dad and his thousands of Twitter followers.

Chances continued to come our way, particularly through MOTM Tom Wood, who was unstoppable throughout.

Sevenoaks came back at us late, but we soaked up the pressure, including a diving goal-line clearance from Gareth and some outstanding saves from Daz. Sevenoaks pulled one back with eight minutes to go, but the grit and determination of the team ensured no further goals.

One of our best performances of the season, especially away from home.

Thanks also to Club Captain Dean and the parents who stood in the rain to support, and a big thank you to Mick for managing the team in the downpour.

Bring on next week!

Today’s game saw the Men’s 2s take on bottom-of-the-league Old Wills, following a well-earned point against second in the league last week.

Anchs started strongly, creating several early chances. A well-controlled press led by James Pitcher put the opposition under pressure, allowing us to break, and yours truly to score a deflection goal that cannot be explained by any known laws of physics. This did somewhat make up for an open-goal miss minutes earlier — but we don’t need to discuss that.

Old Wills countered well, with the defence of Neil, Gareth, Tom and Drew soaking up pressure, and Darren pulling out some outstanding saves to keep the opposition out.

Further chances came for Anchs through the hard work of Tom Wood, Joel Beard and Mark Richardson. We won a short corner from this pressure, and up stepped Drew: 2–0.

Anchs kept the pressure up for the remainder of the half, and after plugging away, James Twigg got his reward with a goal to make it 3–0 at half-time.

The second half was a frustrating affair, with the opposition doing their best to disrupt our rhythm. They succeeded by winning a penalty flick, making it 3–1.

The remainder of the game was back and forth, with questionable tackles and chances not quite falling for either side. The team worked tirelessly across the pitch, especially in midfield, with huge efforts from Wood, Ethan, Joel and Mikey.

Another three points on the board. Thanks to Ray and Phil for umpiring in the cold.

Written by James Pitcher

Match report time — yes, I’m back, fully hydrated, and here to remind you all to drink water… but not too much.

We travelled to a mystery location somewhere in Kent (I promise we did play an actual team), turning up with a bare 11 plus Callum kindly stepping in to help out. Short-handed or not, we were ready to graft. A brief but efficient warm-up later, and we were set to go.

The game started brightly, with us pressing like a George Foreman grill — and the opposition were definitely feeling the heat. Unfortunately, against the run of play, they hit us with a surprise counter. Daz pulled off a spectacular initial save, but with no defenders able to swoop in and rescue the situation, they managed to slip the rebound in. We went into the break 0–1 down.

After some inspired half-time words, we came out firing in the second half — like someone had shoved a chilli somewhere extremely motivational. We were everywhere: left, right, centre, shutting down attacks and snapping up loose balls like a streetwise phalanx. The defence cleared up anything the forwards missed, and we kept the intensity high.

Following wave after wave of pressure — including me nearly receiving an involuntary vasectomy and several of our players allegedly being elbowed — Tyler won a foul. Yes, ladies and gents, Tyler won a foul, got an opposition player sent off, and didn’t get a card himself. Truly historic scenes.

From the foul came a short corner, and from that came a penalty flick. Drew stepped up and coolly slotted it home to bring us level. (Not quite as cool as Tyler’s discipline masterclass, but still very cool.)

As energy levels dipped — with me discovering I was breathing out of parts of my body I didn’t know existed — I channelled my inner José Mourinho and dropped deeper to help secure the point. We held firm, stayed composed, and saw out a well-earned 1–1 draw.

Champagne Moment: Drew for burying the flick.

Dick of the Day: Joel for not appreciating a cheeky elbow to the back.

MOM: Several were in contention — Pricey, Toddler, Ethan Sindray — but ultimately I’m awarding it to myself because I wrote this report and therefore wield absolute power. Don’t question my authority.

In conclusion: pressing is good, I take back everything I’ve said before… and I still hate running.

Anchorians 2-5 Holcombe

Written by James Pitcher

IM BACK BABY

as I know you all missed me I decided to write this here match report

Anyway we went to Ashford to play hockey to no one’s surprise when we rocked up around 11am, it was a cold wet day, with fine rain, the sort that soaks you through.

With a warm up in that famous car park we were ready for the game.

The game started evenly, but first and second blood went to Ashford, with Anchs conceding two goals from counter attacks that would make Usain Bolt proud.

Anchs got one back with Pitcher doing all the hard work taking it past defenders, before a reverse shot destined for the back of the goal would was neatly finished off from an inch by captain Ben Selby.

Ashford unfortunately got a third before half time, with another counter, for which we did have a chance to clear, but mistakes were made. Ethan Sindrey was awarded Dotd, and whether the two were related remains unclear.

By half time we were ready for a difficult fight back started the second half with a few tweaks to our tactics we pressed well not conceding an single goal however pressing well alone doesn’t win you games.

Unfortunately Anchs couldn't convert the pressure in to goals, with no goals from 12 or so shorts being a bit of an aberration for the season.

Sadly the half remained goalless, with 3-1 loss leaving Anchs a bit down on the travel back home.

Man of the match goes to Joel beard form being like a greyhound chasing a rabbit

Champagne moment went to Daz for one of his many saves.

And dotd went to Ethan for things that may or may not have led to their third goal.

In conclusion scoring goals=winning games crazy that.

The Men's 2's hosted Burnt Ash and found themselves in a feisty game where both teams had chances to win the game. 

Burnt Ash scored first despite several saves from Darren Richardson. Anchs returned the favour second half with an assist from Ben Selby to James Twigg on the penalty spot.

Anchs had the opportunity to win the game but also had a hard defensive slog against a tough opposition so a draw felt fair.

Every player gave 100% but MOTM was Joel Beard by a long shot who's constant runs up the line caused constant problems to the opposition.

Thank you to Matt and Richard for umpiring.

The Men’s 2s travelled to Marden hoping for their first away win of the season.

The game started brilliantly — and confused all of us — as we found ourselves 2–0 up within the first 10 minutes. The first goal came from a great deflection by James Twigg, and the second, of course, was a trademark Drew Hughes drag flick. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

For the rest of the half, Anchs continued to create chances — many coming from fantastic runs by Tom Wood, Joel Beard, and James Pitcher. Unfortunately, a green card put us down to 10 men, and Marden managed to pull one back just before the half-time whistle.

The second half was mostly a defensive battle, with key saves from Darren and strong tackles from Drew, Neil, Tom, and Garth. Relentless effort kept Marden out, until James Pitcher seized an opportunity to break up the pitch — taking the ball down the line, beating several players, and slipping it across for me to put Anchs 3–1 up.

The game grew tougher as it went on, but Anchs dug in. Great defensive work from Cashy and Ethan kept Marden at bay, but another green card saw us down to 10 again, and Marden eventually grabbed a second to make it 3–2.

It’s safe to say Anchs ground out a hard-fought away win — even with another two green cards shown — moving us up to 2nd in the league.

James Twigg capped off his 2s debut with a well-deserved Man of the Match performance.

Thanks to Dean and Mick for their support! Bring on next week!

Mens 2's Vs Maidstone 3's

Anchs went into this week's game with confidence after such a strong performance against Canterbury last Saturday.

Game started similar to last week with Anchs having chances to put the game away but not quite having the final pass/finish.

Anchs dominated the half with a great press stopping the opposition from getting out of their defence. This required constant work across the forward line from the likes of Dave Shepherd, Dave Hopkins and Ethan Sindrey.

This pressure eventually lead to Anchs winning a short corner. Up stepped Drew Hughes to add another drag flick goal to his collection. 1-0.

The second half saw Maidstone get a handful of chances. Most were kept out by great tackling from Tom Banfield and Gareth Price across the back as well as great saves from Darren Richardson. Despite this great defensive line Maidstone managed to break the scoreline getting one back. 1-1.

Normally Anchs would drop their heads, but if anything it spurred them on to attack. Great passing and skills from the likes of Ash Risby, Tony Cashman and Joel Beard lead to Anchs putting the pressure on.

Dave Hopkins then reacted quickly to a sideline ball, dribbling into the D, taking the ball round a defender, to slip the ball to Ben on the penalty spot to put Anchs ahead. 2-1.

The game was grounded out with the win and MOTM going to Neil Byrne for constantly picking the ball off attackers with ease as well as saving a certain goal off the line in the first half.

Odd to come away from a win feeling like we could have done better but it shows signs of a team who is ready to complete in this league and seems to be improving week on week.

Thank you to Andy and Paul for umpiring a scrappy game.

Bring on next week! Come on Anchs!

Right. Where do we start...

After last week's poor performance the Men's 2s went into today's game with high hopes that we could get the formula/formation right against what we would assume would be a formidable Canterbury opposition.

The game felt even for 10 minutes with opportunities going either way. This then changed when Anchs won a short corner and Drew Hughes drag flicked the ball bottom corner to give Anchs the lead.

The rest of the half felt like classic Anchs where we had opportunities to increase the lead but not quite having the execution. That repeat feeling of expecting the oppo to come back at us was looming.

Bring on the second half and what a second half it was! It started with Darren Richardson pulling off an incredible 1 on 1 save to keep Anchs spirits high.

Shortly after, Anchs counter attacked with constant work from Cashy and Ash Risby in the middle. This combined with great play from Joel Beard and Tom Wood, resulting in Anchs winning a penalty flick.

Up steps David Hopkins, who I think was putting the ball down on the spot before it had even been called. With no stress he put it away. 2-0.

My memory gets hazy at this point so the order might vary but further hard work and great play from Alex Hamer and others lead to a string of short corners. Drew stepped up rocketing one in the net. 3-0. This followed by Hamer putting another away from a short 4-0.

Short corners kept coming and Drew completed his hat trick with a third drag flick 5-0. Anchs were greedy for more and another goal was scored in open play by Tom Wood after some silky passing up the pitch from the team. 6-0.

Shortly before the end a pass/shot was put in by Gareth Price for Ben Selby to deflect past the keeper. 7-0.

Despite the scoreline the defence worked tirelessly with great tackles coming in from Tom Banfield and Neil Byrne.

MOTM went to Joel Beard who's skill and runs across the pitch caused the opposition constant problems.

It's worth noting that Canterbury battled hard and had a handful of skilful youngsters who kept going and constantly made life hard for us. I imagine in a few years they will really start to cause us problems and we appreciated that they never stopped or lost focus when the scoreline didn't go their way.

A huge thank you to Phil and Lacky for umpiring.

Bring on next week against Maidstone! Now the season has properly started!

Men's 2's Vs Cliftonville - 3-0 Loss

The 2s had the pleasure of travelling away to Cliftonville for their first league game of the season. The game started well with some nice play from youngsters Joel Beard and Mark Richardson that almost resulted in a goal. However as the game went on and pressure built, Anchs found themselves 1-0 down despite several great saves from Darren Richardson. We also went down to 10 players after a poor choice of words were exchanged with the officials.

Unfortunately the second half Anchs never really regained their shape. The effort was there in terms of defending and winning the ball back however this was always let down by our distribution. Anchs were 3-0 down and again down to 10 men due to frustrations.

Not the start that Anchs wanted but hopefully a few lessons to learn for our first home game next week.

The new season pushed back for the 2s with a home friendly vs Holcombe. We didn’t even have to wait a minute for our first goal, with Ash Risby capitalising on a defensive mix up to put us 1-0 up. The game settled from then on, with Anchs remaining on top. We had a few chances to double our lead, with David Hopkins being denied by the goalkeeper and defender when only a few yards out from goal. However, that was soon forgotten (by David at least) when he managed to score a unbelievable goal from the edge of the D that spectators were heard quoting as “the best goal we’ve ever seen”. Others disagreed, with many remembering an excellent through ball from Mark Richardson to David, who completely scuffed the shot which snuck past the keeper. Who is right? I’ll leave it to you to decide.

Anchs picked up where they left off after half time, constantly pressuring Holcombe and looking very threatening. Two more goals were our reward, with Mike Selby getting on the rebound from a Drew Hughes drag flick, and Ash Risby getting his second with a brilliant solo goal. Both scorers had chance to get an extra goal each, but after about 20 shots from a few yards out, a 16 to Holcombe was the outcome for both players. Despite these misses, somehow neither won DotD, with that award going to David for… scoring… riddle me that?! Man of the match went to Joel Beard on his debut, who constantly looked a threat, with Mark Richardson not far behind in the votes but still getting champagne moment for his through ball for the second goal.

An excellent performance from every player, giving us confidence going into the start of the season next week at Cliftonville.