Men’s 1s Match reports

They say bad luck comes in threes. Pulling my back pre-match and my car breaking down was just the start.

Sutton Valence sat fifth in the table. A youthful Anchs side, with pace up front from Will, Hamer and Ben alongside Joel’s usual blistering speed, hoped for a strong start.

Instead, Sutton pressed hard and scored two well-worked goals early.

Switching to a back four, Anchs countered and Joel D finished brilliantly on the reverse. 2–1. Game on.

At this point my back seized and I hobbled off. I’ll be honest — things went blurry. By half-time it was 4–1.

An inspirational team talk from Phil, Joel and myself followed. Drew’s aerials, Joel B’s skill and Will’s leading runs showed promise, but the finishing touch escaped us.

Two more goals followed, including a well-worked short corner. My day was completed with a green card for some questionable tackles.

The 6–1 scoreline didn’t reflect the effort. As one spectator put it: “You just need time to gel.” The pieces are there — just not quite flowing yet.

Man of the Match: Ben Pope (debut up front)

Champagne Moment: Joel D

DoD: Ethan B

Sittingbourne at home next week. We go again 💪

Report by Harry B

Pushback at the unusual time of 12:15 took some getting used to. After a good warm-up, Anchs started positively with the lion’s share of possession.

Against the run of play, Bexley scored from a baseline run and deflection. Shortly after, they added a second. A visibly aggro Pitcher body-checked someone and was lucky to escape a card. Half-time couldn’t come soon enough.

The message was simple: we’ve got this. Unfortunately, Bexley disagreed and scored again within five minutes (possibly my fault 👀).

Momentum finally swung our way. After being deliberately fouled in the D, a flick was awarded. Joel D stepped up — but it was saved. I’m taking the next one 👀.

Undeterred, Anchs kept pressing and finally got reward. Joel D redeemed himself with a reverse into the bottom left to make it 3–1. Sadly, no further goals followed.

Man of the Match: Me, somehow

Champagne: Joel D

DoD: Joel D

On to next week 💪

Booyakasha!!

Don’t panic — it’s not James this week.

Anchs travelled to Ashford and first battled with a car park that resembled a school trip to the Somme. After a mud-spattered warm-up, we were reminded how tight the table was around the middle (bottom).

We lined up unchanged from last week, full of confidence. Counter-attacking hockey created chances for Joel, Risby and Hamer, but good defending and goalkeeping kept us scoreless.

Just before half-time, Anchs were pinned into the right corner. With nothing on, a defender we’ll call Nathan Neard tried to loft the ball across our D. Despite Harry Banfield’s best efforts, Ashford pounced and we went in 1–0 down.

Joel delivered a Braveheart-inspired half-time speech and we came out pressing. Excellent interceptions and runs from Sam, Will, Jake and Hayden, plus relentless pressing from Pitcher, led to Joel smashing home a reverse to equalise.

We kept pushing, with Adam and Jake covering serious ground, but the pace told and Ashford scored on the break.

Still searching for an equaliser, Anchs came close from a couple of shorts, supported by great work from Ben Pope at left back. Ashford responded by getting the elbows out — apparently legal.

A mistimed pass led to Ashford making it 3–1.

Pitcher then decided to personally fund end-of-season drinks, earning a green for chatting back, upgraded to a yellow for continued chatting in the final 10 seconds.

A tough 3–1 loss against a very good Ashford side. Must-win territory next week.

With training this week best described as theoretical, we arrived feeling a little rusty — the kind of rusty that creaks when you bend down to tie your laces. There was brief hope the game might not go ahead. Sadly (or fortunately, depending on your legs), it did.

Maidstone arrived, and so did our attacking intent. Joel was particularly lively, firing off four absolute rockets — unfortunately only the noise travelled, as none found the net. On another day, the scorer would’ve needed a fresh pen.

Then came the penalty flick. Dramatic pause… and an even better save. Was it excellent goalkeeping? Questionable flicking? The jury remains out, but the scoreboard stayed blank.

In truth, we should have been 4–0 up at half-time. Hockey being hockey, Maidstone nicked one instead.

After a few short corners that promised much and delivered very little, it was time to call in the specialist. Up stepped the hammer — a man who does not miss. Tiny bobble, big swing, ball zipped to the far post. Bang. Game on.

Maidstone responded with plenty of possession, much of it seemingly aimed at Ethan’s head. Brave defending or unfortunate positioning — who can say.

There were chances to win it earlier, but in a moment of match-rust generosity, Risby passed directly to two defenders, leaving Joel and Alex waving in the D like they were waiting for a bus that never came.

Justice eventually prevailed. Joel finally got his reward, sliding the ball into the bottom right past an onrushing keeper with Messi-esque tekkers. The keeper was unimpressed. Their number 11 was vocal — so vocal he earned himself a seat to watch the final whistle.

Three points secured. A little rusty. Very happy.

Thanks for the support as always — and extra thanks to the umpires for braving the cold.

0-3

Anchs 1–0 Tonbridge Wells.

What’s up, crackers. Today we played a very cool game of Men’s 1s hockey, which — crucially — we won.

Men’s 1s needed a world-class player. I was in bed reading a book (as we all know I do) when the phone rang. It was Men’s 1s “captain” Phil.

“Pitcher, the Men’s 1s need you for a dangerous mission filled with danger, damsels and booze.”

I slid my Ray-Ban™ glasses on. “I’m in.”

Title card: Pitcher saves Anchorians. Starring me and Sydney Sweeney.

Rocked up on a great day — people complaining about rain, grow up, it’s water. After a lot of standing around waiting for reasons unknown, we finally went out to warm up. Once I’d put a few shots past Phil into the back of the net, I was ready.

The game started back-and-forth, attack for attack. Then suddenly — short corner. Saved. But JOEL STUPIDLY GOT HIT ON THE LINE. Penalty flick. Phil was shaking. This was the moment for a hero.

I walked over, gave him some calm words.

“I’ll take it from here.”

Kit on. Flick taken. Saved.

I handed the gloves back.

“You’ve got it from here, kid. See out the match.”

We counter-attacked. I think I crossed it? Not sure. All I remember is shooting, the keeper saving, and me making sure he stayed warm — cold injuries are serious, you know. Half-time.

Team talk? No idea. I was thinking about dinner (chicken burgers — what a win).

Second half: straight out the gate. Running, tackling, passing. Phil made a save or two. Maybe another one. Don’t want to give him too much credit.

Then, with three minutes left, a short corner. Home supporters watching. Joel slid it into the bottom corner. Scenes. Absolute scenes. Spectators on their knees.

We tried to see out the final minutes, but the wind turned against us and pushed us backwards. Tonbridge won a short. I’m pretty sure it went wide — or Phil saved it — either way, not worth mentioning.

After a few more attacks, including some elite defending from me (tackling without fouling), the whistle blew. Harry punted the ball into the spectators as a gesture of goodwill. Nice of him to return it.

Awards:

Phil: MOTM for doing his actual job

Phil: Champagne for letting me save the flick

Ethan: DoD for being a little chav

 In conclusion: play me every week. It’s basically a free win. Not sure why you don’t pay me.

 The end.

0-8

The Men's 1st team travelled to Old Wills today with a few adjustments to normal. With no Lacky or Luc, Joel made the sacrifice and switched from attacking to playing at the back, with the help of Adam alongside him.

Even with this setback, we played a solid first half with strong defensive displays, which kept us level at half-time.

After the usual team talk, we aimed to "own the field," coming out strongly attacking-wise with some brilliant long balls to Hayden down the right-hand side into our hard-working forwards. But with 12 men, we knew we could only give so much. We kept the Wills out for 60 minutes until a barrage of short corners resulted in their first goal. This led us to counter, but with tired legs this became more and more difficult.

The game ended as a 3–0 loss, but we played well as a team.

Man of the Match went to Joel for his performance at the back, which also led to him getting champagne. And the DOD went to both Ethan for his bad aerials and Lacky, for obvious reasons. 🩼

The Men’s 1s came in to this game with a much different side to last week with a full house of availability.

The match began with both teams having a few good chances but failing to find the back of the net, this summarises a fairly uneventful 1st half.

The second half began much same, until Lacky managed to somehow injure his knee (we are waiting for the video replay to see how). With a bit of rearranging to cover the injury, we carried on trying to find the goal, with some good saves/football clearances by Phil to keep us in the game and a few unlucky chances at the other end. Ethan the lumberjack then picked up a green card for axing the oppositions stick with a attempted tackle.

With both teams pushing up the pitch, it left space at the back which Blackheath managed to find and blasted the ball into the goal.

Overall it was a good game for Anchs but just struggled to find the goal. Hopefully Lacky’s injury isn't too serious and he will be back soon.

Man of the match went to Luc with many players getting votes.

Champagne moment to Phil for his football like volley clearance.

Prize prat went to Ethan B for his card.

Thank you to Laura and Andy for umpiring.

The week got off the a bad start with a trip to Nottingham and a forgotten anniversary meal to cause a few selection issues, then an injury during a proposal on foreign lands followed by tweak in the night for one meant we went with the bare 11.

The game started brightly for boths teams with Canterbury having the better of the chances early on. But with some solid defending and being patient without the ball we were getting to half time unscathed, until a ball into the D from the wing found and willing runner stick to squeeze in passed Phil and Lacky at a tight angle. We manage to counter well towards to end off the half having a short corner right on the stroke of half time but came to nothing.

A strong team talk at half time gave Anchs the hope of getting back into the game but the bare 11 meant that with Canterbury having 14 tiredness kicked in which allowed Canterbury many chances in the second half of which three were converted.

Man of the match was shared between Alex and Adam. DoTD was split between Hayden and Ethan and champ was for Phil.

We move on and onto next week

Anchorians dig deep for a well-earned away win!

A strong all-round performance saw the men’s 1s come away from Sittingbourne with a 3–0 victory, built on hard work, grit, and a touch of class up front.

Sittingbourne started fast, pressing hard and forcing some early defending from the Anchorians back line. Phil, with his friends watching on, decided this was the perfect game to show off — pulling off several top saves and even throwing in a few camera dives for good measure.

Both Harry and Lacky made goal-line clearances from short corners to keep the clean sheet intact, while Ethan battled on after taking a knock to the head. Up front, Alex worked hard linking play (and took a bit of a battering from the Sittingbourne centre back for his efforts).

After the break, Anchorians started to take control. A lovely move saw Alex pick out Lacky, who slotted home the opener. With Sittingbourne pushing to find a way back, space began to open up — and Joel did what Joel does best. Two well-taken goals later, he’d sealed the win… and yet again managed to avoid that elusive hat-trick!

It was a proper Anchorians display — solid at the back, dangerous on the break, and full of determination right across the pitch.

A brilliant team effort all round — grit, graft, and good laughs throughout.

What a match at our home ground today — a full-on emotional rollercoaster for everyone! From being pressed high early to feeling quickly overwhelmed by Sutton Valence, things didn’t exactly start to plan. Sutton Valence came flying out of the blocks, putting three past us before the half-time whistle, and it looked like we might be in for a long afternoon.

But after an inspiring half-time speech from good old Lacky — with a few people clearing the air — things turned around. Turns out all we needed was a spark of hope, because the second half was the turning point for the team. Cal found an opening and took it brilliantly to kick-start our comeback, reminding everyone why we belong in this league. He then went on to grab another goal, completely shifting the momentum and making Sutton Valence’s heads implode.

Then came the moment of the match — the one that gave Phil champagne (and maybe a few goosebumps too). He pulled off a penalty flick save so good it deserves its own slow-motion replay. The crowd erupted in cheers, applause, and pure relief.

Of course, no classic Anchorians comeback would be complete without a bit of chaos — tempers flaring, crowd objections, and frustrations from both sides as decisions went one way or the other. But despite all that, Luc stepped up with a lovely flick from a short corner to make it 3–3 before the final whistle — and I think we can all agree, that felt like a win in our eyes.

Man of the Match goes to none other than Harry, for his relentless effort bombing up the wing and staying strong in defence against some tough opposition.

As for the DOTDs, they hide in the shadows this week — Will, for hurting his arm and then apparently his leg to top it all off, and Phil… well, if he hadn’t let in those first three goals, maybe we’d have had the three points we needed! (All jokes aside, we wouldn’t change him for the world.)

Everyone should be proud of the shift they put in today. We really did push ourselves to level the playing field — and hopefully, this marks the start of the uprising for the Anchs 1s team.

The Mens 1’s took on BBHC in what could only be described as an “eventful” away tie that unfortunately saw your men in purple and white lose 4-1

The match started, and we found ourselves down early, the goal clearly couldn’t have been that memorable because I don’t remember it at all, which is a common theme about this game as I can safely say that we’d like to forget what occurred. One person however who will not forget the windy day at Avery Hill is Sam who finished nicely to equalise with his first goal of the season.

From this point on, the game descended into carnage. Amongst that carnage, BBHC did manage to pull ahead, scoring two penalty corners (the second of which Capitan Phil would especially like to forget) and also catching us napping with a counter attack, whilst we could only manage to hit the post a stupid number of times.

Despite all this, the boys showed great determination, and lessons will be learned, onto next week where hopefully we can resume our winning ways.

Big shoutout to our travelling support! A lack of communication told the kitchen that oppo didn’t want food - leaving a team of battered and bruised blokes starving, and finally, a massive shoutout to Lacky’s car for not fancying a drive home.

Anchorians suffered a frustrating defeat on Saturday afternoon, letting a 1-0 half-time lead slip as Ashford fought back with two second-half goals to take all three points.

The day did not get off to a good start when the captain (still learning) forgot the match ball which was sitting comfy in his car. Then during the warm up our star striker managed to pull his side whilst practicing a drag flick. However we still felt comfortable going into the start.

Anchs began brightly and were rewarded for their early pressure with a well-taken goal before the break. A slick passing move was finished off clinically by Risby, giving Anchorians a deserved 1-0 lead going into half time.

However, Ashford came out with renewed energy after the interval, pressing higher and showing greater attacking intent. Their persistence paid off when they found an equaliser midway through the second half, capitalising on a defensive lapse to level the score.

As the momentum swung in Ashford’s favour, Anchorians struggled to regain control, and with less than ten minutes to play, the visitors completed the turnaround with a decisive second goal – a low drive into the middle of the backboard from a short corner.

Anchorians pushed forward in the closing stages in search of an equaliser but were unable to break down a resolute Ashford defence.

It was a disappointing result but the lack of fresh legs through the forward and midfield lines showed come the final whistle.

Still a good performance with this being our third game in the new system. Man of the match was Adam W for a sterling performance at right back. Champ was Hayden for his base line run assist and Prat was Lacky as per for Lacky reasons

Final Score: Anchorians 1-2 Ashford

Maidstone 2s 1 – 5 Gillingham Anchorians 1s

The mighty Anchorians 1s kicked off the season away at Maidstone, who kindly provided us with a pitch, opposition and umpires.

Skipper Skillen led with a stirring pre-match speech. The message was clear: this was the team that left us with just the one point from a possible 6 last year.

New formation, fresh faces, whistle blown. Season on.

Here’s the first half went down in bullet form:

Joel scored (standard).

Everyone ran around acting like we’d actually trained.

Ethan B flat-sticked anything that dared move.

Harry B moonlighting as a winger.

Lacky scored from a short corner

Half-time team talk: Phil and Mr Gray dropped pearls of wisdom.

Second half = carnage. Joel and Cal bagged two in two minutes. 4–0. Maidstone threatened a comeback, but Joel killed the mood with another counter-attacking finish

At 5 0, Madistone pulled one back from a short corner. Anchs carreid on working until full-time, with Sam H cruelly denied a goal after Risby rob him of golden opportunity.

Big win. Big laughs. Big three points. Season well and truly underway.

13th September 5-1 win against Holcs

New season and a new look to the men’s 1s formation. The team talk was initially two men down- one due to (I imagine) horses and the other due to a lack of being able to read timings. The key points though, were of focusing on the new press and being solid in the middle of the pitch.

The game started with a flash of last season, defending a short corner within the first thirty seconds. Lacky came to the rescue as I decided to tap the ball backwards after saving the first effort at goal. Once we had settled the boys work the press well and we were turning the ball over in high and wide areas, the guys doing exactly what was asked of them. The first goal came from a long windy run from Joel who entered the D on the right hand side to blast home into the bottom corner. First quarter ended at 1-0. A change in press was tried which allowed Holcs to have more of the ball. Even with this Ben, Lacky and Harry did their defensive jobs well and stopped Holcs being able to level things up.

With the score still 1-0 at the half we decided to go back to what had been working in the press and absolutely played Holcs off the pitch with three goals in the third quarter. All coming from high turn overs, which either lead to goals in open play or several short corners. Joel benefited from a danger pushing for one and being on the end of some good team work in the D for the other. Alex H joined the score sheet after another turn over from Will lead to an easy slap in past a scrambling keeper.

Holcs did managed to grab one goal by high pressing. A hard pass into the D found the end of a Holcs stick with a good save (humble brag) the rebound unfortunately landed at the feet of another forward to tap in. Our response was to score almost instantly, with a classic Anchs counter attack - Jake and Joel combining for a fifth goal. Described as ‘sweaty’ (not sure must be a youthful phrase).

After the count the man of the match was split between Ethan and Hayden. A huge well done to everyone that played, and with seven players earning votes for player showed how much of a good performance it was. First league game next week away to Maidstone and looking forward to seeing how we will shape up this year.